To My Under-Appreciated Husband

Dear Husband,

I want so badly to be the wife you deserve…

A wife that greets you at the door, when you come home for work, emotionally stable with a smile on my face.

A wife who could manage our son’s doctors appointments on her own.

A wife that could spend time pouring over recipes to make you the perfect dinner each night.

A wife that didn’t nag or snap at you.

A wife who didn’t need you to immediately take our son after a long day of work.

I yearn to be a wife that is nurturing, selfless and thoughtful.

I’m humbled each day when…

You come home from work greeting me with a smile and asking about MY day as you take our son into your arms to give me a break.

You take time in the middle of your busy day to attend EVERY doctors appointment you can for our son (usually having to work extra to make up for the time.)

You make your own lunch each day and pick us up dinner every night.

You support every weight loss program I try, wake up early so I can sleep in…

…change poopy diapers while getting ready for work, don’t criticize me for wearing cut off pants, crocs and a puke stained shirt in public with you (yes it really happens), and listen patiently as I rant and rave that you aren’t being attentive to my needs (clearly not the case).

Thank you for your unconditional love.

Thank you for providing each day for our family above and beyond what we need.

Thank you for making our son laugh so hard.

Thank you for being an incredible man of God…

…and for giving me a family I never dreamed possible!

Love your incredibly grateful wife.

Book Review: The 5 Money Personalities

The 5 Money PersonalitiesThe Five Money Personalities is written by “The Money Couple” Scott and Bethany Palmer, who work as financial counselors and have written several books and studies on money and relationships. I choose to read this book because my husband and I are at opposite ends of the spending spectrum. I figured I would be doing my part (as the spender and not the savor out of the two of us) to read a book which might teach me to become financially responsible.

I was surprised to find this book wasn’t necessarily about becoming financially responsible, but really about understanding your “money personality” as well as your spouse’s – and how the two can work side by side to create harmony and not discord within your marriage.

If you consider yourself a “visual” person, this book is for you. The interactive quizzes and self-assesments draw a picture of your spending personality and how it relates to those in your household. Whether reading this on your own or along side your spouse, you will learn understanding each other’s money language can drastically enhance your relationship.

Quotes from the book that I thought were meaningful:

“There’s something life-giving about dreaming together as a couple. It’s a reminder that you are stronger together than you are apart. It’s a way of saying to your spouse, “I look forward to the future with you.”

“A strong marriage is only possible when couples reclaim that attraction, when they stop seeing the downsides of their differences and start loving the way they complement each other.”

“Seeing the ways the Opposite Dynamic plays out in your marriage isn’t a free ticket to no more conflict. It’s a way to recognize that those conflicts don’t have to get personal or painful. You can address problems as partners, not as adversaries, because you know that the other person is coming at the problem from a legitimate perspective that just happens to be different from yours. And when you know that, you can work through problems with respect and a true desire to find middle ground.”

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review.

Guest Post: Humbled and Amazed

My sister-in-law, Mandy Mianecki, wrote an amazing story on her blog, Hearts Undaunted, of the journey between my husband any myself. Enjoy!

My Assignment:  Find a God-sized dream story that inspires you and share it with us. It could be the story of someone in Scripture, your family, your community or the great, big world out there online. Then write a post about how that story inspires you.

It blows me away…how the love of the Lord transforms.

How the Spirit reaches right down in tenderness and mercy awakens mustard seed faith, planted deep within, long ago.

My brothers and I were raised in faith.

Born into, baptized, blessed.

Our parents exposed us to faith in our formative years.

Gave us a Catholic education through high school, and two of us through college.

And yet.

Faith must be embraced by each, individually.

Must be sought, examined, tried on…

Often times, that takes the form of veering off the path of faith. There can be hurtful experiences that push away. Crazy, experimental, just-wanna-have-fun years. Perhaps life happens and God seems to slip through the cracks.

Or we never truly experienced God’s mad love for us personally.

I didn’t always understand that. In my legalistic years, I saw my brothers fall away.

And I fretted. Truly worried. And prayed.

Offered the role of godfather to one brother.

And I can’t help but admire his answer. Can’t help but respect his honesty, that he wanted to accept for the right reasons–but couldn’t because he didn’t want to “just be going through the motions.”

I admired, respected, and prayed.

Years later, Josh began dating his wife-to-be, Heather.

Life threw crushing blows that brought them to their knees–in front of the altar.

It was make or break…and they chose make.

They married. In church.

And I marveled as listened to the sermon about a spousal love that lays its life down for the other.

I witnessed the joy and peace in their eyes, the palpable love in their embrace.

Not the mushy-gushy, oh-my-honey-sugar-poo kind of love.

More the kind that does this:

For real.

He loves her.

In a you-come-first-and-I-am-honored-to-take-care-of-you sort of way.

In a covenantal and I-don’t-care-if-anyone-looks-at-me-funny-for-it sort of way.

He wears an I Am Second bracelet.

He gives generously.

He lives honestly.

He’s surrendered his heart.

And I am humbled by it.

I’m so proud of him.

And it makes me want to be a better spouse.

It brings tears to my eyes, from my heart overflowing, wanting to burst with the knowledge of the goodness of God…and the way that He loves.

mandy
About Mandy Mianecki:

Wife, mama, daughter, sister, and friend, passionately pursuing my Savior. Coffee-drinker, art-maker, word-nerd, homeschooling-attempter. Cheerios in my carpet, dust on, well, everything, but love in my heart. Encouraging you in this walk of faith that you can do this!